F2 life,

F2 life..3 words to describe..
Sucks but Challenging..
Evithg chgs in 2011..
My attitude..My mental..
i'm getting more negative in this yr..n evithg nvr goes smoothly..
this yr, i sty in floor 3..seek high towards the sky, the scene is quite nice..but when i look down, i like saw the hell waiting for or either the devil is waving it hands to me...i like to stand at the corridor, thinking thgs or either my prob..but sometimes when i reali stress, i feel like jump down from floor 3..end up my life..but...they make me let this decision awy..they are my mum n my beloved BF...not BoyFriend but BestFriends..myb this wad tht is so challenging..challenge me to end up my life? lol..no..it isn't..the God is challenging me getting through this SUCKS life !! God, listen ! i'll accept ur challenges..ntg challenge me !
now, i'm not going to care abt wad they say, wad they do..i juz going to stick to my status quo...hate me? so wad..i dun care...but if u're my friends or either bestfriends, i'll care..coz i dunwan to lost a good friends such as u...
in this yr, no one trust me..no one blif on me..i feel like i'm a sampah to evione...biase laa...nama pun TONG !! evione wud like to blif someone they dun blif, n dun even blif on me...
i crossed my heart n tell all my friends..i treat u all v a true heart..i nvr mean to do anythg bad on u all..i nvr bluff u all..myb i evr do sth wrong on u all..but...i reali din mean anythg...myb i evr heart u all..but i din mean tht too...i just can't ctrl myself doing some foolish thgs...
to someone..u may be reading this post n u may be not...i noe u since the end of the yr..before tht..i dislike u..coz some misunderstand..but after i get to noe u..i feel tht u reali r a great person..n i wud like to be ur friend..i hope i can help u..listen to ur prob..but...i found tht....myb i not qualified to be ur fren? u're a sp, u're a good student...i'm just an offencing kid in school..lzy student...we're just like heaven n the hell? nvr get together...i were 'dreaming' tht i can be ur fren n i owys stick to u...but..u're now pulling urself awy from me? n i'm now awaken tht i reali not suit to be ur fren..( just my guess abt u...)
i feel like i'm useless..i can even done a great job being a captain..not strict enuf...letting ppl stepping on my head? letting ppl offencing? wad the eff...i try to do better..but all the incidents are making me lost my  confidence on doing thgs...2010...my dream for 2011 was reali a dream...my dream nvr comes true...

God, now...me Tong Tian Qian din wish for anythg..i just wish anyone i love..my family, my bestfrenz n my 'siblings' get through their life smoothly n be in a good health..u all r my best supporter in my life...altot u din help me in anythg..but if u're being my friends or wtv=u're giving support to sty in this world...